W28D3: The At-Own-Risk discharge

(This is a much delayed post!)

If you have been following my bed rest journey so far, you know that I was admitted at 20 weeks, not due to any complication but for the mere sake of observation.  Since I first discovered that I was pregnant with triplets, I have browsed through tons and tons of triplet blogs, forums, journal articles...you name it, anything triplet related that I can get my greedy hands on.  And I have not come across a single other case where a triplet mother-to-be was hospitalized at 20 weeks for observation.  No, not even here in Malaysia!

While the hospital policy of early hospital bed rest for mother's carrying triplets is with good intentions of putting me in the safest place in the world, the psychological effects of doing so has clearly been disregarded.

Here's what I read from a mother-to-be of triplets' blog:

For now, I need to remain mostly on the couch, sitting or laying on my side, with a little walking around my house. I am not supposed to pick up my daughter, take too many trips up or down the stairs or do any housework or carrying. I asked if I could go places (besides doctor's appointments) and she said she encouraged it for mental health, but I need to go somewhere and sit, not go somewhere and walk around. ..She is going to get me a handicapped parking sticker to use for appointments to minimize even that walking. She reminded me that I can ride in a wheelchair through the mall, or use a motorized scooter at Target. I laugh when I picture this...

When I was first admitted at 20 weeks, I felt really down.  Add to the fact that I was stuck in a a hospital ward when I felt perfectly fine with my pregnancy, albeit the usual discomfort that comes with carrying triplets, DH was still doing his training in KL, which meant that I only got to see him two to three times a week.  Hospital bed rest at this government hospital meant that I was not allowed to leave the ward at all.  I had no wheelchair privileges either.  We tried to ask for time off so that I could get out of the hospital for a few hours, but the request was denied.  Needless to say, by week 24, I was miserable.  I texted DH and told him that I couldn't take it anymore, I needed to leave the hospital and I was ready to take an At Own Risk (AOR) discharge.

MIL had a plan, though.  My brother-in-law was getting married in the same town where I was hospitalized, and it was going to be a small, simple family gathering.  She thought that it would be a good time for me to take a break from the hospital.  After all, I was going to miss the subsequent garden wedding that would take place several months later, so this family affair would be a good reason to get a discharge.  DH thought that this was as good idea, our babies were safer at 28 weeks, than 24 weeks, and so I agreed to hold on for another month.

The hospital was adament about not giving us their consent for me to leave.  DH called this defensive medical-legal practice - they didn't want to accept liabilitiy for any mishap that might happen when I was out of their care. The resident doctors briefed me a few times about the risked involved an I was made to sign an At Own Risk discharge form.  I was informed that they would not keep my room for me should there be another patient who wanted a single room (I had one of the only two single rooms in the ward, and the other single room was currently occuppied by another long-staying mother-to-be).  Worse still, if the 1st class ward were to be filled up with new patients while I was away, I would have to go back to 3rd class to wait for an available bed in 1st class (shudder, shudder).  I have good reason to fear being in the 3rd class ante-natal ward.  It was packed with 40 over pregnant mothers, hot, noisy and uncomfortable.  Also, both the two mothers-to-be of triplets who were also admitted at 20-weeks and who were boarded in the 3rd class delivered prematurely, one at 24 weeks and the other at 30 weeks. Certainly, if a mother-to-be is not comfortable, this would not be good for the baby/babies.

I was also warned that while I am away from the hospital, they would not reserve ventilators for my babies, so should I go into pre-mature labor, there might not be enough ventilators for my babies.  This was absolutely bullshit, because when I was admitted to the labor ward at 24 weeks and then again at 32 weeks for threatened premature labor, there weren't enough ventilators anyway.

Anyway, in order to minimize our risks and keep my room, we decided that I will take an AOR day trip, instead of an overnight trip as originally planned.  I was so excited yet apprehensive about finally being able to leave the hospital!  DH came to pick me up in the morning and we were supposed to go directly to the church.  However, DH forgot to bring my clothes and though I had a maternity t-shirt, I was so dissappointed that DH agreed to drive me back home to pick up the forgotton clothes!  It just felt so great just to be normal and be able to put on some pretty clothes after being in a hospital gown for two months, and to wear some make up!

MIL treated me like an invalid throughout the entire day.  She was so afraid that I would fall!  I was extra careful though, I hated the idea of something bad happening and the doctors saying, "Ï told you so!" and then they would use my case as an example to other pregnant mother inpatients as a way of warning them not to leave the hospital premises AOR!

It was just so, so good to be outside in the world with other people!  After the wedding, we went to a nice restaurant for lunch and it was so, so good to be eating freshly cooked food served hot at the table, instead of from canister containers!  They were going to send me back to the hospital after lunch, but I hadn't tasted enough of my sweet freedom, so I said I wasn't ready to go back yet! So instead we went back home to rest.  I discovered, though, that sleeping in a non-airconditioned room on a flat bed that was not adjustable though piled with cushions was not so comfortable.  The kids were loud and noisy and unfortunately, this being an old house, the rooms were not soundproof.  The plan was for us to go out for dinner together as a family.   Yet, much as I would have loved to go for another outing and enjoy good food before returning to my dungeon, I decided that I'd better not push my blessings too much and requested to go back "home" to the hospital.

I was readmitted very quickly and back in my old room at the ante-natal ward.  Changed into hospital clothes again.  Life in the ward would continue as usual.  I was only half way through my hopsital stay back then.  Yet the day out of the hospital was exactly what I needed to give me the oomph to continue my hospital bed rest journey!  I was psychologically refreshed, energized and my spirits were lifted.  And, I finally got to take a pregnancy picture with DH!

This is a keepsake for our boys!