It was about 4.00am the other day when I step out from my room to the common bathroom for a pee trip. The ward was quiet, no nurses in sight. I slowly tiptoed to the 3/4 length mirror hanging on the pillar in the lounge.
It has been over 20 days since I last saw my belly in the mirror. Since being on hospital bed rest, I only have a top view of my belly, so the only thing I can see past my belly button are my toes. There are tiny mirrors in the common bathroom, large enough only to see you face. Some time ago, mum brought me a small compact mirror which hasn't been very helpful. My room is too dark and the mirror is too small to get a good view of my belly.
So there I was, standing in front of the 3/4 length mirror all by myself. I gingerly lowered my sarong to take a look at the damage. My heart sank. It was bad, pretty bad for a 20-over weeks pregnant lady. My skin was cracking all over my belly. I saw for the first time, the constant itch and lumps that I felt but could not see before. There was really an earthquake on my belly :( Gone was my smooth, flawless tummy skin.
It was too depressing. I've had many more late night opportunities, but I've never been back to the mirror since then.
That is the sacrifice of being a mother.
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