Hospital Bedrest Day 9: 22 weeks pregnant & belly picture

Yay, I am another week's pregnant and am at 22 weeks!  You have no idea how every precious week counts for a mother pregnant with triplets!  Two more weeks to viability, i.e. 24 weeks I say to myself, but still deep within me I know that 24 weeks would still not be good enough for the triplets.

Yesterday I heard the tragic news from a houseman doctor that the other triplet mother, also on hospital bed rest since her week 20, also under The FM Specialist as me delivered her triplets at 24 weeks last Saturday.  I couldn't resist finding out more information, so today I asked the nurse from this triplet mother's ward and she confirmed that all three babies did not survive.  I don't have much details but I do remember The FM Specialist mentioning to me at our last scan a week ago that it was good that my cervix had not shortened, as this other triplet mother's cervix had started to shorten.

I tried to imagine what this poor mother must be going through right now, but I guess no one can really imagine her pain other than one who has gone through such an experience.  I told The Husband about it and he started feeling scared for us and our triplets.  Just a few days ago he had told me that he was feeling confident that I would be able to make it to 34 weeks, and I was like wow, what a big thing for a typically pessimistic, worst-case-scenario type of guy that I know my husband to be!

DH and I continue to experience mixed feelings of anticipation and apprehension.  I now feel my babies distinctively kicking in my womb.  How can a mother-to-be not help but have love for her unborn babies even when she knows that they might not make it or that they may have lifelong disabilities?  How can parents-to-be of triplets not start dreaming about life with the triplets and all the excitement it can bring?

Right now all we can do is to continue to pray and hope for the best, as each slow day crawls by.